Jan
27
you can’t fool me Google, when was Jesus REALLY born?????
A little cute thing said, “What’s yo’ name?”
I put my necklace in her face and told her read the chain"
If I've posted, it means I'm putting off doing something more important but most likely less interesting
via graphiceverywhere
take another picture with your click click click click cam-er-a
sportin’ my bishop allen t-shirt today, thanks sister
Nov
6
FUCK THE YANKEES
STOP BEING CRAZY NEAR WHERE I WORK, CROWDING MY SUBWAY, CLOSING THE STREET AND CAUSING COP CARS TO RUN INTO MY BUILDING. TOO DAMN MUCH HULLABALLOO!!
Nov
4
“Avoid using question marks as they remind people of hook-handed serial killers.”
FakeAPStylebook
Oct
29
YOU’RE 40!
happy birthday Internet.
1940’s slang.
What’s buzzin’, cousin?- How’s it going?
Ducky shincracker- A good dancer
Active duty- Sexually promiscuous boy.
Share crop- Sexually promiscuous girl.
Greeby- Terrible
Drooly- A cute guy
An Able-Grable/Blackout girl/Dilly- A cute girl
Some of Hitler’s Work/Void coupon- An unattractive girl
Khaki wacky- Boy crazy
Doll dizzy- Girl crazy
Dead hoofer- A bad dancer
Gammin’- Showing off
Hen fruit- Eggs
Hi sugar, are you rationed?- Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Motorized freckles- Insects
Snap your cap- To get angry
via goodolddays
THIS.
Oct
27
“When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.”
It’s Decorative Gourd Season Motherfuckers from McSweeney’s
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