A little cute thing said, “What’s yo’ name?” I put my necklace in her face and told her read the chain"

If I've posted, it means I'm putting off doing something more important but most likely less interesting

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Nov 6

FUCK THE YANKEES

STOP BEING CRAZY NEAR WHERE I WORK, CROWDING MY SUBWAY, CLOSING THE STREET AND CAUSING COP CARS TO RUN INTO MY BUILDING. TOO DAMN MUCH HULLABALLOO!!

Nov 4

“Avoid using question marks as they remind people of hook-handed serial killers.” FakeAPStylebook

Oct 29

YOU'RE 40!

happy birthday Internet.

1940's slang.

randominternet:

What’s buzzin’, cousin?- How’s it going?

Ducky shincracker- A good dancer

Active duty- Sexually promiscuous boy.

Share crop- Sexually promiscuous girl.

Greeby- Terrible

Drooly- A cute guy

An Able-Grable/Blackout girl/Dilly- A cute girl

Some of Hitler’s Work/Void coupon- An unattractive girl

Khaki wacky- Boy crazy

Doll dizzy- Girl crazy

Dead hoofer- A bad dancer

Gammin’- Showing off

Hen fruit- Eggs

Hi sugar, are you rationed?- Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

Motorized freckles- Insects

Snap your cap- To get angry

via goodolddays

lenier:

THIS.

Oct 27

“When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.” It’s Decorative Gourd Season Motherfuckers from McSweeney’s

Oct 23